I considered myself a failure comparing wif others and wad they can achieve..
Why am i a failure?? becos i'm not some spastic child who cannot think or live on their own..
Coming from an insane family.. i dun think it could be called a family..
It was never a family.. i never realli had a father.. onli my mum and mi..
yet, i'm sort of tortured and fed..by my mum.. should i still call her mother ? maybe monster..
Even thou she took care of mi.. i think it was merely out of guilt.. maybe..
sometimes i wish i had jumped out of the window when i was younger when i dun know
how tough the real world can be. i would hav died in peace..
Up till now.. when i reach home.. i would rather called it a hotel.. it's juz a place to bath eat and sleep.. No family time.. no tv.. no home cooked food for 15 years..
I try to learn to cook.. but for who, for whom..
I yean for someone whom i can confide myself to.. but none..
everytime i try to converse wif my mum.. we would quarrel..
I need to get a job.. earn lots of money .. pay back all the money my mum used on mi..
and live on my own..
I could no longer stand her..
i could no longer stand myself..
I had no jobs, no money no gf, no future.. even thou i prayed and prayed tat this ITE thingy would of be my sometype of future bought mi empty hope..
I myself could not even stand my own broken english.. tat i tried to stop using them..
Maybe i should hav juz go ahead and jump..
Some of the reasons why i did not commit sucide..
Jumping down from hdb flats--i'm afraid of heights.
Taking pills---i dun know how to swallow..
Let car bang-- wad if i dun die?
Jump the ocean-- wad if i regret and swim back..
cutting wrist-- i think the blood would clot before i lose enough blood
See how much of a failure i am?? i don't even dare to kill myself..
Life sux....
i'm juz a stupid piece of shit tat worth no comments..
I'm seriously useless...
Maybe if there is a legal way to die, my organs are the onli worthy parts.. at least for ppl who want to live..
God bless mi.. let mi die in my sleep..
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment